I have a confession to make.
I am not as tough as I like people to think I am.
Don’t get me wrong. I am confident, and truly don’t give a fuck what most people think. However, I dissolve into tears at the slightest provocation. Sad books, happy books, animal abuse commercials, choreographed dances, seeing others cry, seeing families reunite… Anything. It’s just as fucking annoying as you might suspect.
Empathy rules my life, and as such, greatly interferes with my decision-making capabilities. It is in my nature to trust people, and to believe they are generally kind, honest, and have good intentions. I hate thinking that something I’ve said or done has hurt someone’s feelings. This makes me quite a good and supportive friend, but is also rather naïve, and leaves me open to being manipulated, emotionally bullied and taken advantage of.
After being burned by this god-awful naïveté, I have decided to make a list of things I have learned, or re-learned, this year. Many of them seem intuitive. Many more I should have learned years ago. But the point is that I’m still learning. Life can be hard, and can throw you ridiculous curve balls- but as long as you manage to learn something along the way, it’s worth it.
So, without further adieu, here’s a snapshot inside my sweet, optimistic, potentially schizophrenic and certainly slightly idiotic brain.
There are some seriously amazing people in the world.
There are some seriously cunty people in the world.
People who object to the word “cunt” are probably cunty cunts.
Facebook is a fucking stupid waste of time. So is Twitter, but at least cool people are on there.
People are not always who they seem to be.
No one will love me like my family does.
Science remains fucking awesome.
It’s ok to be weak and let people support you sometimes.
It’s always a good idea to take good advice. The trouble is trying to sort out “good” advice from “bad” advice.
Making new friends is awesome. Losing old friends sucks.
Saying goodbye is hard when you don’t know when, or if, you’ll say hello again.
Most religious people are not assholes- but the ones who are tend to be such extreme assholes that they ruin it for the rest.
There is no “right” way to mourn the loss of someone you care for. There is only survival until time can work its magical healing powers.
Anyone over the age of 15 who expects you to stop talking to someone because it makes them jealous probably isn’t worth your time.
Real friends will never expect you to put their needs or wants before your own.
Real friends will never threaten you, no matter what the circumstances are.
Not everyone deserves your attention.
I remain unconvinced that sunrises anywhere in the world compare to those in Canada.
Working out is an excellent way to relieve stress and anger.
Showering alone is a huge waste of water.
Oceans and beaches. They are excellent.
No matter how much you know, there is always room to learn more.
A little patience and kindness can go a long way.
Being inherently trusting of people can set you up to be terribly let down.
Words whisper. Actions yell.
Dogs are the best kind of people.
There isn’t much that feels better than looking into the eyes of someone you care for.
People will take advantage of you if you let them.
Life is both too short, and too long, to be unhappy.
Taking risks is risky. Not taking risks may indeed be riskier.
Comfortable silence is extremely under-rated.
You can’t control every situation, but you CAN control how you react in those situations.
If you manage to find someone in this crazy, fucked up world who loves, respects, challenges, adores and amuses you… count yourself among the lucky ones. And try not to fuck it up.
Thank you for being my constant source of amusement, and for all of the kind words, advice, friendship and support. I hope your 2014 is better than your 2013… but not as good as your 2015.